No Name Woman

In the book The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston, the theme in the story of the “No Name Woman” is shame. The opening statement from the author’s mother is, “You must not tell anyone… She jumped into the family well. We say that your father has all brothers because it is as if she had never been born” (Kingston 8). This theme of shame/humiliation on a family is seen multiple times throughout the chapter. “Don’t humiliate us. You wouldn’t like to be forgotten as if you had never been born” (Kingston 10). In the Chinese culture, the worst thing a child can do is do something foolish that would reflect badly on their family. This can be anything from not getting good grades, affairs, and a pregnancy prior to marriage.

As an Asian-American myself, I can relate to Kingston’s story about how much your actions can reflect on your family. A female family member on my mother’s side had a child out of wedlock, she was disowned by her parents and the rest of my family pretends like she never existed. This is very similar to Kingston’s story of her aunt, they both became outcasts in their families. I was a child when my mom told me that story and I thought nothing about it. “But there is more to this silence: they want me to participate in her punishment. And I have” (Kingston 20). Kingston’s aunt was deliberately forgotten by her own family.

There is a Chinese tradition that usually takes place on Chinese New Year where fake paper money, clothes, and other material items are burned for the ancestors to spend and use in the afterlife. Food is placed out for these ancestors so they can feast with the living. “Her betrayal so maddened them, they saw to it that she would suffer forever, even after death. Always hungry, always needing, she would have to beg food from other ghosts, snatch and steal it from those whose living descendants give them gifts,” (Kingston 20). They are so ashamed, so humiliated by her having another man’s child and for committing suicide that it is easier to forget her existence.

In the United States, we still face judgments of our actions but not as drastic as Kingston’s family. People outside of the Chinese culture will think that is cruel and unusual punishment, but this is completely normal to me. But as I grew older, I’ve realized that it isn’t normal at all, that practices my family have aren’t normal. “Chinese-Americans, when you try to understand what things in you are Chinese, how do you separate what is peculiar to childhood, to poverty, insanities, one family, your mother who marked your growing with stories, from what is Chinese? What is Chinese tradition and what is the movies?” (Kingston 10). This is a struggle a lot of Asian-Americans face, an identity crisis of not feeling completely Asian because of growing up in the U.S. and assimilating to a “white culture”.

Questions:

Is there anything in your culture or lifestyle that can be seen as “not normal” in today’s society?

In what ways have some cultures assimilated to what can be expressed as “white culture”?

9 thoughts on “No Name Woman”

  1. Iris,

    While there are many cultures that have very strict views on what is socially acceptable, I had a hard time coming up with anything that would be unacceptable within my own culture or family. If anyone in my family ended up being gay, trans, or pregnant, I would hope that every family member would be accepting and supportive. Even our family members who have been addicted to drugs, alcohol, or even just cigarettes have been openly supported. But what would it take for someone, whether it be a friend, a family member, or anyone else in society, to look at someone like they’re not normal? Like you said “Kingston’s aunt was deliberately forgotten by her own family.” What would it take for your family to turn your back on you? What would it take for me to turn my back on my own brother? I think the only thing that would make me deliberately forget him is if he was openly just a bad person, if he wasn’t moral. I guess morality is the only necessity to be a part of our family.

    1. Kailey,
      Turning your back on family is something that many people would not dare to do. But within the Chinese culture, people’s view on you is everything; so much so that they can exile you. It seems really wrong to people who do not grow up in this environment and it is an old school way of thinking, but it is so embedded into our culture and beliefs that it sticks like glue. My own childhood was striving to be perfect for my immigrant parents and they did turn their back on me when I let them down. It seems very immoral and abusive but it’s just how my sister and I were raised. Being an Asian American allows me to see how messed up that is, but how can you tell a culture to change?

  2. Iris,
    I think the fact that you can relate to this story and can share your experiences is very interesting. Your statement, “the practices my family have aren’t normal” really stuck with me. I think that there can be disagreements in any culture about certain practices or ideas or beliefs, but isn’t that what makes every culture unique? Even though I don’t agree either with the way in which the situation with Kingston’s aunt was handled, it seems as if many families follow through with that societal code. There are probably plenty of things that may be deemed as “not normal” if judging from an outsiders perspective, but each culture has its own personal customs, traditions, and moral codes they follow, that are particular and necessary to make that culture what it is.

  3. Iris,
    Many people can deem whatever they want as “not normal”. Every culture has all types of different beliefs and traditions. The people involved in these cultures believe these traditions and beliefs to be justifiable in their own way. Because of their beliefs, they are going to believe other people’s beliefs are “not normal”. Therefore, it is up to your own opinion on what you believe is normal and not normal. I don’t believe anyone’s beliefs are false in any aspect because people are entitled to their own beliefs and opinions. White culture is typically surrounded by “me” and “mine”, meaning one person and/or individualism. The white culture is based on selfishness and people looking out for themselves at all costs.

  4. Iris,
    The Chinese culture is widely talked about because of the cruel nature they treat their kids with. The fact that you lived through it, you know it better than any of us and therefore understood this story to the fullest. “Chinese-Americans, when you try to understand what things in you are Chinese, how do you separate what is peculiar to childhood, to poverty, insanities,…”. This quote shows how young Chinese Americans really don’t think that their treatment in their childhood is out of the norm. The way they are treated is normal to their culture and they accept it because at the young age they know nothing else. In my culture there are some things that are not normal to others. I am very Irish and like all other Irish people we eat corn beef and cabbage on st Patricks day and celebrate. Now to people that are not Irish, that might be pointless, but to us, it is normal to our culture.

Leave a Reply

css.php