Mean: A Necessary Evil

Myriam Gubra’s mean is an autobiographical account of Gubra’s life growing up as a Mexican-Polish woman in the western U.S.A. Gubra tells stories that range from funny recollections of quirky neighbors to harrowing memories of sexual assault. Throughout the text, Gubra retains the same lighthearted, humorous tone. Gubra is personable, and while I became more invested in her life through reading the text, I began to get the feeling that I knew her personally at some point in my own life. This strange familiarity I found in Gubra made me pity her, especially when she talks about a classmate, Macaulay repeatedly molesting her in class. These feelings of pity are heightened as the attacks become more frequent and more severe. Every time it happens, I am left wondering why she didn’t take her father’s sagacious advice. Why didn’t she chose to be mean?  The advice is given when a young Gubra asks why bad things happen. Her father wisely responds: “Myriam, think of how boring life would be if nothing bad ever happened” (Gubra 16). This was great advice, the kind that lingers in the minds of children and stays with them, even when they have their own families. Although this advice was great, it wasn’t proactive. Sure, Myriam’s story about being groped in class is interesting and scary, but she would have been better off if she didn’t have that story to tell. Sometimes, bad things just happen, whether they be interesting or not, but I think the world can agree that we would all settle for a less interesting life of serenity.

Gubra has a fascinating interest in names and their meanings. This is evident throughout the text, she will name a peer or another significant individual, and then explain the meaning of their name. I only noticed it a few times, no more than two or three, but, nonetheless I thought it was interesting and it stuck with me. The first time is in the very beginning. After she tells the story of a young woman’s brutal rape and mutilation, she gives the meaning of her name, the name that sticks with her and haunts her. Gubra explains: “It appears many times in the Bible: Sophia. In Greek, sophia means wisdom” (Gubra 3).  Another instance of this attention to designation occurs when when she mentions a male classmate. Gubra writes: “One climber, Reymundo, in English, king of the world” (Gubra 14). This example isn’t as grim as the first, as Reymundo was just a daring classmate of hers. His name doesn’t seem to haunt her as Sophia’s does, but, despite this, she thought it was important enough to elaborate on, and this fact alone is intriguing. It left me wondering where she acquired this interest and why is it such a significant aspect of the text.

As Gubra tells stories of her life growing up in the western United States, we learn of the struggles she faced because of her racial identity. Some things were small, imitating the microaggressions we saw  in Claudia Rankine”s Citizen. An example of this occurs when she visits her white neighbors while her mother gives birth, she asks what they’re making for dinner, and the mother responds, cheerfully: “Since you’re visiting, Mexican” (Gubra 6) Although it wasn’t malicious or overtly racist, her decision to prepare her strange rendition of “Mexican food” was without a doubt racially motivated. Although this was a cringe inducing moment of the text, this moment pales in comparison to the blatant racism that Gubra faces at school. She is battered with racial slurs, she notices that white adults treat her differently than they do her white peers, and she is often made out to be the bad guy in race related situations. Gubra tells the story of an altercation between the white and hispanic students. Despite the fact that it was the white students who are berating the hispanic students with racial slurs and other terrible things, when the teachers gather all of the girls together to come to a solution, the outcome is ironic to say the least. Gubra calls the girls out on their racist antics, and they begin to cry. This action prompts the teacher to tell Gubra to apologize. Even after all of the harassment and the name calling, Gubra is the one being blamed. Just because a teacher emphasized with the faces that were more similar to their own, Gubra is told to apologize for defending herself. Although this is disappointing, it isn’t a surprise, these kinds of situations are just another aspect of day to day life for people of color.

Mean is an interesting and somewhat thrilling read, it makes me feel as if i was thumbing through the pages of a comic book, just without the illustrations. Gubra is like some kind of feminist superhero, and I look forward to continuing with her through the text on her coming of age journey.

Questions:

What is the significance of your own name?

Have you ever been in a situation where you were completely right and you still had to apologize? How did this make you feel?

Molly: Both an An Agent of Evil and A Unattainable Dream

For my found poem, I was inspired by a song called “U.O.E.N.O” By Rocko featuring Rick Ross and Future. When this song was first released, there was a lot of controversy surrounding a line in the song that glorifies date rape. The simple fact that the artist assumed that it was okay to lightheartedly condone this violent behavior angers me. As a young woman in college, the fear that this could  happen to me is ever present. Music is highly influential on culture. This is both positive and negative, because while happy music may spread contagious bliss, violent music may incite violent behavior.

In analyzing the poem, I noticed some descriptive language and alliteration that had potential to transform a hideous line into a great story. In the song, Molly is used as slang to reference the substance that is sometimes used to drug an unknowing victim. In my poem, Molly is the name of a girl that the narrator is hopelessly in love with, she invades both his dreams and his reality. Instead of using  Molly to obtain and assault a woman, Molly the nae of a woman who is unattainable.

Link to the original lyrics: https://genius.com/Rocko-uoeno-lyrics

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